Marital problems, Biblical solutions, and Christian advice
Marital problems, Biblical solutions, and Christian advice
From/by Tyler April 2009
Father and child abandoned by wife
Husband/Father encouraging divorce for wife and four kids so he can have another
Wife signs divorce papers at husband's request
Father and daughter abandoned by wife
[Use your finder to go to the one you want to read]
==================================================================
Father and child abandoned by wife>> I'm a retired minister - having worked in churches for ## years (most of which was during our early marriage), so I know the Biblical stance on Divorce. I hate the very idea, but now that I'm standing on the precipice, I can only ask God's guidance and love for all three of us.
>
> I guess I'm still in the grieving process here. All I can do is ask that y'all pray for all three of us.
>
> Thank you for your time and support.
>
> ~=qwert
***Mat 5:31 "It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. 32 But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. . . . 19:8 He told them, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
***Mark 10:10 Now in the house the disciples questioned Him again about this matter. 11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
===Knowing the seriousness of the sin of adding to God's Word (Mark 7 and Matt 15:1-10)
it is interesting to note, especially in your case, that it is not declared to be adultery if she divorces/leaves you and you marry another in the Lord, but whoever marries her commits adultery. If there is no reconciliation and you come to the place where you realize you need to be married, please let me know and I would like to share the Word with you on remarriage.
Tyler
Ezelstone@gmail.com
>==================================================
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Husband/Father encouraging divorce for wife and four kids so he can have another.
Dear asdfg, you wrote the following and I respond at ===
Re: Very Saddened
Posted by: asdfg
Date: Wed Apr 22, 2009 5:54 pm ((PDT))
My husband keeps telling me I need to move on, we are not divorced yet, but he moved on a long time ago when he had his affair. He was my first love and I will always love him, but... I am going to be happy without him.
asdfg
Mother of # beautiful children
Teacher
===First you weep, and weep with friends if possible. Then you fast and pray, at least the working man's fast Daniel used in Daniel 10:1-5. Then you run to the Word.
***1 Cor 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to peace.
===The Greek of that passage is very enlightening, for the phrase "let him leave" literally means that "he should move himself away". "Should" is a powerful Word, especially when it is Spirit inspired. If he does not leave you and renews the marriage in answer to prayer and fasting, then take it from the Lord. If he leaves you, part of your ordeal is to accept God's Word that "he should move himself away" from you, that it is God's will for him to leave you, that it is God's will for you to go on with Him without your husband, and that after he leaves you then you are free in the Kingdom of God to marry a godly man in the Lord (that means he is not an unbeliever - 2 Cor 6:14-7:1 - and not a "Christian" snared in sin - 2 Thess 3:6-14; 1 Cor 5:11 ).
***she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.
===If you are not under command to marry
***1 Cor 7: 2 But because of sexual immorality, each man should be having his own wife, and each woman should be having her own husband. 3 A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. Equally, a husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not be depriving one another—except when you agree, for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. . . . 9 But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
===and have the gift of being able to go on without sexual temptation, consistently able to live abstaining from sex sin (in thought or deed), then you are able to be devoted to the Lord without distraction
***1 Cor 7:32 I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— 34 and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper, and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
===I hope some of this is useful to you.
Tyler
A retired teacher
Ezelstone@gmail.com
------------------4/25/09-
Hi asdfg,
Please seriously consider following the Lord's directions to determine whether or not your husband is genuinely saved in Jesus, because the answer to that determination will show you how to relate to him, what to do about him. If he is found to not be a genuine disciple of Jesus and he separates himself from you, then you are free to remarry and move on with your life, according to 1 Cor 7:10-15. If he is genuinely saved, then things get complicated. Jesus tells you what to do about him in 2 Tim 2:24-26 with Matt 18:15,16,17.
***15 "If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won't listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn't pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you.
If he doesn't pay attention to the church, get some of the church to do 1 Cor 5:3-5 with you about him. If nothing negative and unusual happens to him within six months - no serious weakness, no serious sickness or loss - and he goes on successfully with the other woman, then Jesus tells you to "let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you."
Then you know you are to relate to him according to 1 Cor 7:12-15 and you are maritally free from him, free to remarry if the Lord provides for you in your future.
You might disagree with me on this next part, but at least think and pray about it before you dismiss it. If you have done Matt 18:15-17 with 1 Cor 5:3-5 and the Lord has allowed Satan to make him seriously weak or ill and he repents of his plan to leave you for another, in the godly sorrow of 2 Cor 7 - - - - - - - - - -
***9 Now I am rejoicing, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance. For you were grieved as God willed, so that you didn't experience any loss from us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death. 11 For consider how much diligence this very thing—this grieving as God wills—has produced in you: what a desire to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what deep longing, what zeal, what justice! In every way you have commended yourselves to be pure in this matter.
- - - - - - - - - - - then you have two choices, plan A and Plan B. Plan A is that you reconcile and reunite with Him _ - - - - - - - - -
***6 The punishment by the majority is sufficient for such a person, 7 so now you should forgive and comfort him instead; otherwise, this one may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. 8 Therefore I urge you to confirm your love to him. 9 It was for this purpose I wrote: so I may know your proven character, if you are obedient in everything. 10 Now to whom you forgive anything, I do too. For what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, it is for you in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his intentions.
_ - - - - - - - - - - - - Plan B is that you exercise you celibate separation option - - - -
***1Cor 7:10 I command the married —not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife.
You see there is not one Scripture in the New Testament that says adultery or sex sin terminates or ends the marriage of two genuine believers. Malachi 2 shows that God hates divorce, no matter who is divorcing who, or who is divorced by who. Why would you want to do anything God hates, unless He has made it crystal clear in Scripture that you should or you man, as in the case of the unbeliever leaving the believer, freeing the believer to remarry. Even under the Law, the divorce of Deut 24 was never commanded, but was provided for the hardness of their hearts. Even in Mat 5 and 19 where Jesus provides the remarriage option for the man whose wife has been unfaithful, He does not command that the husband divorce her.
In the case of two genuinely saved people, even Matt 5 and 19 show that even if she has been unfaithful and he divorces her for her sexual sin, she is not free to remarry and anyone who marries her does so in adultery - - - - because she is still maritally bound to him in the Lord - - - - - -
***Mark 10:11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
***Mat 5:32 But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. . . . 19:9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Why is it adultery to marry a genuinely saved woman who is divorced from her own genuinely saved husband, even if the divorce was for sexual immorality, given that both were genuinely saved when they were married and were free in Jesus to marry when they married?
***Rom 7:2 For example, a married woman is legally bound to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law regarding the husband. 3 So then, if she gives herself to another man while her husband is living, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law. Then, if she gives herself to another man, she is not an adulteress.
***1 Cor 7:10 I command the married —not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband . . . 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.
You see divorce is not God's way to handle sexual immorality when it occurs between a genuinely saved couple. The Bible indicates clearly that the way a genuinely saved wife handles the sexual sin of her genuinely saved husband is the way shown above, i.e.
Gal 6:1; 2 Tim 2:24-26; Matt 18:15-18 with 1 Cor 3:1-5,11. If the genuinely saved but sexually snared husband survives the Lord's promised chastening (Heb 12; 1 Cor 11:30ff) with its weakness and sickness) and repents in godly sorrow (2 cor 7), he is to be reconciled with his wife (2 Cor 2), if she has not chosen to exercise her separation in celibacy option (1 Cor 7:10,11).
Dear asdfg, please prayerfully consider these Scriptures and their application to you and your situation. Please make sure that you act on the solid rock of Scripture, rather than the opinions and doctrines of people, even Christian people. Religious leaders are often tempted to teach as doctrine their own human doctrines and traditions, which make the Word of God void and ineffective (Mark 7:1-15).
YOU WROTE - and I respond at ===
On Sat, Apr 25, 2009 asdfg wrote:
Well, my husband thinks since he repented for his adultery his is just fine with God. Yet he has this love for the other woman so much that he cannot lead his heart back to me.
===There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is death (Prov 16:25). It doesn't matter what your husband thinks. What matters is what God says and thinks. God's Word to him, if he is genuinely saved is "a husband is not to leave his wife" (1Cor 7:11).
He plans on getting back with her, if she accepts him, after the divorce. It is like is is free to marry her since we are divorced and he can go on living his Christian life with the woman he loves, the relationship with this woman that destroyed our marriage.
===If he is genuinely saved, the Lord won't let him get away with that, either by weakness, sickness, or the death of his body (1 Cor 5:3-5; 11:30ff)
My children will have to have a relationship with her. I pray she does not take him back or if she does, it doesn't last long. I don't know how it could since it was a relationship based on lies and the excitement of an affair will not be there anymore, they are just two people now, divorced.
I have no plans to remarry, have no desire. I want to draw near to God. Thank you for the verses, know them all by heart by now. I have been a Christian for a long time, don't even want to calculate, at least 30 years.
===Follow the leading of the Spirit and the Word, but remember His Word that warns Christian couples about trying to abstain from sex after they are married
******1 Cor 7: 1* ¶ But concerning the things of which ye have written to me: It is good for a man not to continue -keep on - touching a woman; 2 but because of sexual immorality each man should be [sexually] having his own woman, and each woman should be [sexually] having her own man. . . .4. The woman doesn't have [sexual] authority over her own body, but the husband [does]; in like manner also the man doe sn't have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the woman [does]. 5 Do not be denying each other [sexually], unless, it may be, by consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and again be conjugally cohabiting [sexually reuniting], that Satan tempt you not BECAUSE OF YOUR INCONTINENCY . . . . . 9 But if they do not [Strong's 3756] continue to have self-restraint [keep on abstaining from sex sin], they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire. 10 I command the married —not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave, depart or separate from [Strong's 5563] her husband. 11 But if she does leave, depart, and/or separate [Strong's 5563], she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to forsake, lay aside, leave, let, put (send) away, remit [Strongs 863] his wife. . . .
STRONG'S (3756) ouj the absolute negative; adverb; no or not: — + nay, neither, never, no
(x man), none, [can-] not, + nothing,
STRONG'S (1467) ejgkrateu>omai, — eng-krat-yoo’-om-ahee; to exercise self-restraint (in diet and chastity): — contain, be temperate.
STRONG'S (5563) cwri>zw, — kho-rid’-zo; from (5561); to place room between, i.e. part; reflexive to go away: — depart, put asunder, separate.
STRONG'S (863) ajfi>hmi, — af-ee’-ay-mee; from (575); to send forth, in various
applications (as follow): — forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go), omit, put (send) away
It is hard when you know you are doing something that God hates, but my husband committed adultery and the consequence is that he lose his marriage. I just wish our country didn't have the laws where he gets to see his children because that should be a consequence as well.
===What makes you think it is God's consequence for him to lose his marriage because of his adultery? You see divorce is not God's way to handle sexual immorality when it occurs between a genuinely saved couple. The Bible indicates clearly that the way a genuinely saved wife handles the sexual sin of her genuinely saved husband is the way shown above, i.e. Gal 6:1; 2 Tim 2:24-26; Matt 18:15-18 with 1 Cor 3:1-5,11. If the genuinely saved but sexually snared husband survives the Lord's promised chastening (Heb 12; 1 Cor 11:30ff) with its weakness and sickness) and repents in godly sorrow (2 cor 7), he is to be reconciled with his wife (2 Cor 2), if she has not chosen to exercise her separation in celibacy option (1 Cor 7:10,11).
asdfg
Mother of 4 beautiful children
Teacher
Praying for you,
Ron
a really tired retired teacher
father of three wonderful daughters
grandfather of ten wonderful grandchildren
==================================================
Wife signs divorce papers at husband's request
From/by Tyler April 2009
Father and child abandoned by wife
Husband/Father encouraging divorce for wife and four kids so he can have another
Wife signs divorce papers at husband's request
Father and daughter abandoned by wife
[Use your finder to go to the one you want to read]
==================================================================
Father and child abandoned by wife>> I'm a retired minister - having worked in churches for ## years (most of which was during our early marriage), so I know the Biblical stance on Divorce. I hate the very idea, but now that I'm standing on the precipice, I can only ask God's guidance and love for all three of us.
>
> I guess I'm still in the grieving process here. All I can do is ask that y'all pray for all three of us.
>
> Thank you for your time and support.
>
> ~=qwert
***Mat 5:31 "It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife must give her a written notice of divorce. 32 But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. . . . 19:8 He told them, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."
***Mark 10:10 Now in the house the disciples questioned Him again about this matter. 11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
===Knowing the seriousness of the sin of adding to God's Word (Mark 7 and Matt 15:1-10)
it is interesting to note, especially in your case, that it is not declared to be adultery if she divorces/leaves you and you marry another in the Lord, but whoever marries her commits adultery. If there is no reconciliation and you come to the place where you realize you need to be married, please let me know and I would like to share the Word with you on remarriage.
Tyler
Ezelstone@gmail.com
>==================================================
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Husband/Father encouraging divorce for wife and four kids so he can have another.
Dear asdfg, you wrote the following and I respond at ===
Re: Very Saddened
Posted by: asdfg
Date: Wed Apr 22, 2009 5:54 pm ((PDT))
My husband keeps telling me I need to move on, we are not divorced yet, but he moved on a long time ago when he had his affair. He was my first love and I will always love him, but... I am going to be happy without him.
asdfg
Mother of # beautiful children
Teacher
===First you weep, and weep with friends if possible. Then you fast and pray, at least the working man's fast Daniel used in Daniel 10:1-5. Then you run to the Word.
***1 Cor 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him leave. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to peace.
===The Greek of that passage is very enlightening, for the phrase "let him leave" literally means that "he should move himself away". "Should" is a powerful Word, especially when it is Spirit inspired. If he does not leave you and renews the marriage in answer to prayer and fasting, then take it from the Lord. If he leaves you, part of your ordeal is to accept God's Word that "he should move himself away" from you, that it is God's will for him to leave you, that it is God's will for you to go on with Him without your husband, and that after he leaves you then you are free in the Kingdom of God to marry a godly man in the Lord (that means he is not an unbeliever - 2 Cor 6:14-7:1 - and not a "Christian" snared in sin - 2 Thess 3:6-14; 1 Cor 5:11 ).
***she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.
===If you are not under command to marry
***1 Cor 7: 2 But because of sexual immorality, each man should be having his own wife, and each woman should be having her own husband. 3 A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. Equally, a husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not be depriving one another—except when you agree, for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control. . . . 9 But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
===and have the gift of being able to go on without sexual temptation, consistently able to live abstaining from sex sin (in thought or deed), then you are able to be devoted to the Lord without distraction
***1 Cor 7:32 I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— 34 and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper, and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.
===I hope some of this is useful to you.
Tyler
A retired teacher
Ezelstone@gmail.com
------------------4/25/09-
Hi asdfg,
Please seriously consider following the Lord's directions to determine whether or not your husband is genuinely saved in Jesus, because the answer to that determination will show you how to relate to him, what to do about him. If he is found to not be a genuine disciple of Jesus and he separates himself from you, then you are free to remarry and move on with your life, according to 1 Cor 7:10-15. If he is genuinely saved, then things get complicated. Jesus tells you what to do about him in 2 Tim 2:24-26 with Matt 18:15,16,17.
***15 "If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won't listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn't pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you.
If he doesn't pay attention to the church, get some of the church to do 1 Cor 5:3-5 with you about him. If nothing negative and unusual happens to him within six months - no serious weakness, no serious sickness or loss - and he goes on successfully with the other woman, then Jesus tells you to "let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you."
Then you know you are to relate to him according to 1 Cor 7:12-15 and you are maritally free from him, free to remarry if the Lord provides for you in your future.
You might disagree with me on this next part, but at least think and pray about it before you dismiss it. If you have done Matt 18:15-17 with 1 Cor 5:3-5 and the Lord has allowed Satan to make him seriously weak or ill and he repents of his plan to leave you for another, in the godly sorrow of 2 Cor 7 - - - - - - - - - -
***9 Now I am rejoicing, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance. For you were grieved as God willed, so that you didn't experience any loss from us. 10 For godly grief produces a repentance not to be regretted and leading to salvation, but worldly grief produces death. 11 For consider how much diligence this very thing—this grieving as God wills—has produced in you: what a desire to clear yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what deep longing, what zeal, what justice! In every way you have commended yourselves to be pure in this matter.
- - - - - - - - - - - then you have two choices, plan A and Plan B. Plan A is that you reconcile and reunite with Him _ - - - - - - - - -
***6 The punishment by the majority is sufficient for such a person, 7 so now you should forgive and comfort him instead; otherwise, this one may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. 8 Therefore I urge you to confirm your love to him. 9 It was for this purpose I wrote: so I may know your proven character, if you are obedient in everything. 10 Now to whom you forgive anything, I do too. For what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, it is for you in the presence of Christ, 11 so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his intentions.
_ - - - - - - - - - - - - Plan B is that you exercise you celibate separation option - - - -
***1Cor 7:10 I command the married —not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to leave his wife.
You see there is not one Scripture in the New Testament that says adultery or sex sin terminates or ends the marriage of two genuine believers. Malachi 2 shows that God hates divorce, no matter who is divorcing who, or who is divorced by who. Why would you want to do anything God hates, unless He has made it crystal clear in Scripture that you should or you man, as in the case of the unbeliever leaving the believer, freeing the believer to remarry. Even under the Law, the divorce of Deut 24 was never commanded, but was provided for the hardness of their hearts. Even in Mat 5 and 19 where Jesus provides the remarriage option for the man whose wife has been unfaithful, He does not command that the husband divorce her.
In the case of two genuinely saved people, even Matt 5 and 19 show that even if she has been unfaithful and he divorces her for her sexual sin, she is not free to remarry and anyone who marries her does so in adultery - - - - because she is still maritally bound to him in the Lord - - - - - -
***Mark 10:11 And He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
***Mat 5:32 But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. . . . 19:9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Why is it adultery to marry a genuinely saved woman who is divorced from her own genuinely saved husband, even if the divorce was for sexual immorality, given that both were genuinely saved when they were married and were free in Jesus to marry when they married?
***Rom 7:2 For example, a married woman is legally bound to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law regarding the husband. 3 So then, if she gives herself to another man while her husband is living, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law. Then, if she gives herself to another man, she is not an adulteress.
***1 Cor 7:10 I command the married —not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave her husband. 11 But if she does leave, she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband . . . 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband is living. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to anyone she wants—only in the Lord.
You see divorce is not God's way to handle sexual immorality when it occurs between a genuinely saved couple. The Bible indicates clearly that the way a genuinely saved wife handles the sexual sin of her genuinely saved husband is the way shown above, i.e.
Gal 6:1; 2 Tim 2:24-26; Matt 18:15-18 with 1 Cor 3:1-5,11. If the genuinely saved but sexually snared husband survives the Lord's promised chastening (Heb 12; 1 Cor 11:30ff) with its weakness and sickness) and repents in godly sorrow (2 cor 7), he is to be reconciled with his wife (2 Cor 2), if she has not chosen to exercise her separation in celibacy option (1 Cor 7:10,11).
Dear asdfg, please prayerfully consider these Scriptures and their application to you and your situation. Please make sure that you act on the solid rock of Scripture, rather than the opinions and doctrines of people, even Christian people. Religious leaders are often tempted to teach as doctrine their own human doctrines and traditions, which make the Word of God void and ineffective (Mark 7:1-15).
YOU WROTE - and I respond at ===
On Sat, Apr 25, 2009 asdfg wrote:
Well, my husband thinks since he repented for his adultery his is just fine with God. Yet he has this love for the other woman so much that he cannot lead his heart back to me.
===There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is death (Prov 16:25). It doesn't matter what your husband thinks. What matters is what God says and thinks. God's Word to him, if he is genuinely saved is "a husband is not to leave his wife" (1Cor 7:11).
He plans on getting back with her, if she accepts him, after the divorce. It is like is is free to marry her since we are divorced and he can go on living his Christian life with the woman he loves, the relationship with this woman that destroyed our marriage.
===If he is genuinely saved, the Lord won't let him get away with that, either by weakness, sickness, or the death of his body (1 Cor 5:3-5; 11:30ff)
My children will have to have a relationship with her. I pray she does not take him back or if she does, it doesn't last long. I don't know how it could since it was a relationship based on lies and the excitement of an affair will not be there anymore, they are just two people now, divorced.
I have no plans to remarry, have no desire. I want to draw near to God. Thank you for the verses, know them all by heart by now. I have been a Christian for a long time, don't even want to calculate, at least 30 years.
===Follow the leading of the Spirit and the Word, but remember His Word that warns Christian couples about trying to abstain from sex after they are married
******1 Cor 7: 1* ¶ But concerning the things of which ye have written to me: It is good for a man not to continue -keep on - touching a woman; 2 but because of sexual immorality each man should be [sexually] having his own woman, and each woman should be [sexually] having her own man. . . .4. The woman doesn't have [sexual] authority over her own body, but the husband [does]; in like manner also the man doe sn't have [sexual] authority over his own body, but the woman [does]. 5 Do not be denying each other [sexually], unless, it may be, by consent for a time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and again be conjugally cohabiting [sexually reuniting], that Satan tempt you not BECAUSE OF YOUR INCONTINENCY . . . . . 9 But if they do not [Strong's 3756] continue to have self-restraint [keep on abstaining from sex sin], they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire. 10 I command the married —not I, but the Lord—a wife is not to leave, depart or separate from [Strong's 5563] her husband. 11 But if she does leave, depart, and/or separate [Strong's 5563], she must remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband—and a husband is not to forsake, lay aside, leave, let, put (send) away, remit [Strongs 863] his wife. . . .
STRONG'S (3756) ouj the absolute negative; adverb; no or not: — + nay, neither, never, no
(x man), none, [can-] not, + nothing,
STRONG'S (1467) ejgkrateu>omai, — eng-krat-yoo’-om-ahee; to exercise self-restraint (in diet and chastity): — contain, be temperate.
STRONG'S (5563) cwri>zw, — kho-rid’-zo; from (5561); to place room between, i.e. part; reflexive to go away: — depart, put asunder, separate.
STRONG'S (863) ajfi>hmi, — af-ee’-ay-mee; from (575); to send forth, in various
applications (as follow): — forsake, lay aside, leave, let (alone, be, go), omit, put (send) away
It is hard when you know you are doing something that God hates, but my husband committed adultery and the consequence is that he lose his marriage. I just wish our country didn't have the laws where he gets to see his children because that should be a consequence as well.
===What makes you think it is God's consequence for him to lose his marriage because of his adultery? You see divorce is not God's way to handle sexual immorality when it occurs between a genuinely saved couple. The Bible indicates clearly that the way a genuinely saved wife handles the sexual sin of her genuinely saved husband is the way shown above, i.e. Gal 6:1; 2 Tim 2:24-26; Matt 18:15-18 with 1 Cor 3:1-5,11. If the genuinely saved but sexually snared husband survives the Lord's promised chastening (Heb 12; 1 Cor 11:30ff) with its weakness and sickness) and repents in godly sorrow (2 cor 7), he is to be reconciled with his wife (2 Cor 2), if she has not chosen to exercise her separation in celibacy option (1 Cor 7:10,11).
asdfg
Mother of 4 beautiful children
Teacher
Praying for you,
Ron
a really tired retired teacher
father of three wonderful daughters
grandfather of ten wonderful grandchildren
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Wife signs divorce papers at husband's request
Discussion started by Tyler , on 1452 days ago
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Home iFellowship Groups Groups Christian Living Issues in Today's World Discussions Marital problems, Biblical solutions, and Christian advice
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